Options suck. Plain and simple. You’d think it was some great thing. But it really isn’t! Do I want a burger, or a burrito? Fries, or mashed potatoes? Soup, or salad? This seemingly amazing job, or stick with the one I have finally found peace with?
Obviously, there are moments where having options works well for everyone involved. I’m currently not in one of those moments. A few days ago I got a call from a single mom I had interviewed with back in June for a job that would have started immediately after camp. It was all pretty nice until I got the contract and looked it over. It was a majorly intense contract. 45-50 hour weeks, with 2 kids, one of which would be in school all day, and one that would stay with me. I would’ve been required to be the housekeeper, cook, etc. and the pay was decent, but not enough for the amount of work that was going to be required. So, after I a lot of prayer, and seeking the counsel of some rocking, women of God, I told the mom that I was going in another direction. It all ended well. We were on good terms. So, when I got the call this past week asking if I might be interested in interviewing for a live-in position for her, I told her I was. She gave me a few of the contract details over the phone.
Basically, the schedule has changed. She put both kids in school. So, my schedule would pretty much be the same as it is with the family I’m currently with, getting the kids off to school in the morning, and hanging for a few hours after school. But, it would be Tuesday through Friday, and every other Saturday. In all, I’m looking at 20-26 hour weeks. It would be hourly, which would get me about $200 more a month. Live-in, with a huge private room, private bathroom, a semi private living room area, laundry room off the living room, TV, King sized bed, walk in closet! And a fully stocked, all organic kitchen. Plus, if I ever wanted something they didn’t have I just had to add it to the list… Seems perfect, right?
Yeah, so I’m interviewing for that job next Sunday. In the meantime, things have finally settled into an awesome rhythm with the family I’m already with! Things are really good. There are a few things I would change, but I figure those would be changed with the move they’re making at the end of November. Plus, I’ve got a system, and good level of communication with these people. Ugh. It’s a tough freaking choice. Because, what if I interview, and everything seems amazing. I take the job, things are great for a month, maybe two, then it all goes south… what if I can’t power through and end up having to leave the job, which means leaving the place I’m living? I most likely wouldn’t be able to go back to the family I’m with now. They’ll have found someone else. It sucks. That’s one of my biggest fears. I’m a pretty good judge of character, and it isn’t like I absolutely need this job! But I would prefer it be the perfect fit and everything flows wonderfully.
But wait! (this is better than an infomercial!)
The neighbor of the family I’m with now has become an awesome friend to me up here! She has three little boys, and is actually going through a situation right now that I won’t go into details about, but if y’all could lift her up in your prayers, that’d be rocking! Anyway, she is going to need to go back to work soon and will need someone to watch her boys (mainly the 3 year old), while she’s at work. The pay would be through a government assistance program, and would be a lot more than what I’m making now, plus it would be live-in, which would be great! She’s a super awesome person and has let me know that I’ll always have a place to live with her if it comes down to it. So, that’s helping to calm some of my panic about possibly being homeless should everything fall through.
Ultimately, I have decided that being an adult is super freaking stupid, and I want absolutely no part in it!
Crazy enough, this week has been great. The kid has been awesome. The dad has agreed with me on everything, and my car was leaking condensation from the A/C and I thought it was something more serious, so he checked it out and let me know everything was running great! I made a list of yummy, nutritious food to pick up and he did! It’s been splendid. Now, I just need to keep praying and ask that God make it evident where I’m supposed to be. I would super appreciate it if y’all would join me in this prayer!!
AND NOW IT’S Q&A TIME!!!!!!!
QUESTION 1: Would you ever consider putting your parents into an nursing home?
I have actually considered this. Working in the caregiving industry really helped open my eyes to the different types of care options out there for the elderly. My mom and I even discussed it a few times. While I have nothing against nursing homes, there are a few that rise above the rest and you really have to take all the aspects of your parents life and needs into consideration. My mom will be in her house as long as she wants. Even when she starts to lose her mind, she will still be there. As long as she’s funny crazy, and not scary crazy, she’ll remain in her house. That’s what she wants. When your parents reach that age, why not humor them? Honestly, they spend all this time, money, stress, etc. to make sure you are set. What harm will it do to give them a little bit of what they’ve given a lot?
QUESTION 2: Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?
Nope. That’s never been a person I wanted to be. To intentionally hurt someone for your own satisfaction? That’s a major jerk move! Also, if you’re offended because you’ve cheated, suck it up. You made that choice. You knew what you were doing. You didn’t deserve that person.
BOOM! REALITY BOMB JUST WENT OFF… lol I just cracked myself up with that
QUESTION 3: Have you ever had a guy ask you to marry him?
hahahaha, yes, a few times actually. Once, in college, a friend found out I know how to cook and immediately dropped down to his knee and asked me to marry him. Another time, it was a we could just get married and see what it’s like situation (turned that down for obvious reasons). Mainly, it was never a serious option that I considered going through with.
QUESTION 4: What is the wildest thing you’ve ever done?
I think moving 20 hours away from my home is pretty wild… maybe I’m wrong? Honestly, I’ve done random wild things consistently in my life. I always want to push the boundaries of life. So, I can’t just pinpoint a specific moment when it was the ‘wildest thing’.
QUESTION 5: If you had to choose between your boyfriend and your best friend, who would you choose?
Best friend. Hands down! Honestly, I’ve had best friends come and go, but I know that if it came down to it, and I needed any of them that have been in my life over the years, they’d be there in a heartbeat, or find a way to send someone comparable. I can’t say the same of any ex boyfriends. If I knew my boyfriend was the guy I was going to be married to, the guy God had destined for me, it would be a different conversation. But just a boyfriend that hasn’t been through all the stuff my best friend and I have been through together? Nope, sorry dude.
QUESTION 6: Would you rather be liked, or respected?
I got this question sent to me a few weeks ago, and I wanted to answer it right away, but forgot, and then I saw it again and was thrilled to write my response!! I would rather be respected!!! Here’s why, I don’t like a bunch of people that have been in my life to teach and guide me over the years ( I know that sounds horrid, but stick with me), but I have completely respected them. When I was in college, I would have professors that annoyed the crap out of everyone, they wanted the students to be their BFFs, which lost them a ton of respect! Then I have had polar opposites with people, or teachers that were so freaking mean, but they helped get the job done, earning multitudes of respect. There’s a balance somewhere where you have both. I try to maintain that balance as much as possible. But in the end, if it came down to what I would rather have? I would choose respect. Yeah, I would love to be liked by everyone (I’m only human), but I would prefer people know where they stand with me.
QUESTION 7: Would you rather sit in the sand or play in the water at the beach?
I have no clue who sent this question as it was anonymous, but I’m assuming it’s one of my kids from the youth group. Seeing as how it’s related to the beach.
A quick background note, there was a youth beach trip last year. The ocean was high tide and had a terrible current. I know how to swim, I know how to swim in the freaking ocean! That day was just not a good day for anyone. I ended up almost drowning, out past the end of the pier, crazy big waves, bubbling panic of a shark attack, etc. I ended up having to be saved by gorgeous life guards (not the worst thing), and having to explain to the youth pastor what had happened, which got back to everyone.
The last time I went to the beach was this summer…I went in the water. I didn’t go past mid thigh, but the current was bad again and I ended up being pulled under the water. It was for a second and when I came up I could stand in the water. But I had the BIGGEST panic attack. So, to answer the question, I would rather sit in the sand. I don’t want to die anytime soon hahaha.
QUESTION 8: What’s your favorite book?
There actually isn’t an answer for this. I LOVE reading! LOVE IT! So, to say I love one more than the other is something I can’t even consider. I thought about putting that the first book I wrote was my favorite, but even then, I’ve written others that are amazing too! And if this question was about my favorite author it would be the same answer! I don’t even have a favorite book in different genres! That’s how much of an addict I am. I’m actually totally cool with this being my addiction.
QUESTION 9: How did that date go?
This was from one of my kids.
So, a little back story. I met a guy the other week at the grocery store when I had a super rockin dork moment and almost dropped a carton of eggs. Luckily, my mad, ninja skills kicked in, and I saved them and noticed a guy standing by me holding his arms out like he was gonna grab the eggs for me. Then we talked, and flirted for about ten minutes, and the guy gave me his number saying ‘I would ask you for yours, but I get that you’re new here and I’m a complete stranger, and I really want to get to know you. So here’s mine. I hope you call or text so we can get coffee, or dinner sometime soon.’. …oh dang!! Playas got moves!!!! So…I gave it time (a day) and texted him. We set up to go meet for coffee last Saturday at the Starbucks near where I live, since they know me there and I feel like they would watch out for me if he ended up being crazy. But on Saturday he texted me asking if I wanted to get dinner instead since he didn’t get off of work until late. So I agreed to meet him at Panera Bread (which is basically where I live on the weekends because the have amazing food and free Wi-Fi) and we could do dinner. I went through all the pre date panic of what to wear, how much makeup I should have on, should I put more effort into my hair, etc.
I got to the restaurant with a little time to spare, but he was already there. Which is nice that he’s prompt and has that going for him haha. But then I went through the panic of what to do as a greeting! Do I shake his hand? Hug him? Kiss on the cheek? Kiss on both cheeks? Ugh!! Luckily, he spread his arms in and I’m gonna hug you gesture, so I went with that. It was a good hug. Not the best hug I’ve had, but it had a nice amount of pressure, no creepy lingering, etc. Plus he smelled really good, and he didn’t try to sniff my neck (a horrid date story for another day). Anyway, he was a total gentleman and opened the door for me. Then I had a small panic of whether or not I was buying my own dinner, or he was paying? It seems like a stupid issue, but lately women are all about the I don’t need a man to survive thing and will pay for a bunch of their own things, which totally doesn’t help me… just saying. So, with that in mind I walk up to the counter. I do the whole, I don’t know what to get, thing. But the fact is, the cashier knows my order and has seen me every weekend for the past month. So, there was no fooling her, but my date walks up behind me and asks if I know what I’m getting so I ordered, then he ordered immediately which cleared up my question of who was paying! Then the cashier asked if we wanted pastry items for 99 cents, which I totally did since I love their chocolate chipper cookies and will typically get one with my salad. But it was a date, so I had to play it cool and act like I didn’t want one. I was not fooling the cashier, however. She was looking at me like I was crazy and she knew I wanted that cookie, and I was looking at her like she needed to look away before I throat punched her. Then she freaking says, ‘Are you sure? We have really awesome chocolate chip cookies?’ Giving me a look that I returned with a glare. I’m certain my date saw this entire interaction, and understood that I wanted a cookie. So he stepped in and said he wanted one, and I should totally get one because they sound delicious. So, I do owe the cashier my thanks I suppose. Anyway, we talked for several hours about random things, then I felt like I needed to ask a really important question. The official, “what is your faith?” question. His answer? ‘I don’t really believe in any of that. I’ve known too many people that call themselves Christian, or Catholic, or whatever, and they use that to justify why they do things that aren’t exactly cool with society. Or, they do terrible things and call themselves that and it’s hard to understand…” While I totally get what he was saying. It sucked. I really like this guy. But I know if I dated him, knowing he wasn’t about my God, I would be a hypocrite. I said in my last post that the main quality you need to look for in someone you’re gonna date is if they love Jesus. That is such an important thing to me, and I explained that to him and said I wouldn’t be able to justify dating someone that wasn’t a believer which meant lowering what I am looking for. He was really awesome about it. I think he respected that I was willing to lower the standards I set for who I want for my future. He asked if we could be friends, which I wholly agreed to. We’ve continued to text, we’ve been to the movies, out for coffee, walks in the park, etc. He is becoming a great friend, which I think I needed more than anything. So, that’s how my date went…lol
QUESTION 10: How would you describe your sense of fashion?
Lol I have a weird sense of fashion, I guess? If I’m being honest, I have no sense of fashion. I constantly mix fabrics. I’ll wear stripes and polka dots, with animal print thrown in, just because. I’ll wear shorts and a long sleeve shirt. Or, the reverse, tank top and jeans. Boots in the summer. Flip flops in the winter. Band shirts and a sweater with a movie quote. Sometimes, I’ll wear my PJ’s in public (this happens more often than not). I wore cheetah print leggings once, with a clack and white striped shirt. Honestly, it varies, and not in a good way. The real question is, Do I care what others think of my fashion sense? The answer? NOOOOOOO!!! It’s my style. If I happen to be matching one day? That means I’m changing my style. But it will always be mine. I will always have my twist on things. Because I have control over my life and what I wear. BOOM!!
And a special bonus!!
QUESTION 11: What is a word you use the most? (This question came from Saweenie!!!)
I couldn’t think of an answer for this. So, I went through my old text messages, and the conversations I had with people from my old youth group. And the word that I use the most is….Drumroll please…….. Stop!. That’s it. I would use it for a medley of things! Primarily to tell the kids in the youth group to stop trying to get me into some form of trouble. Whether it was saying things about me being with another youth leader. Or, saying bad words. Or, trying to get me in trouble with anyone else. Stop would be what I used. Did italways work? Nope. But I still use it. I even use it up here all the time. The Kid and his dad found out I scare easily and have made it their life’s goal to freak me out. They’veactually succeeded several times and I’m not psyched about that life! Anyway, I use Stop a lot. I guess it helps me feel like I have some semblance of control in any given situation.
OKAY! That’s all I have for today. (this was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I forgot and was having dinner with my new friend, so deal)
Hope you all have fun reading this! Please continue to leave me comments, email me your prayer requests and questions, or just say hey. I love knowing I can stay connected with y’all through this and other forms of social media! It’s made this move easier! Love y’all and miss y’all!!!😝