Are you insane like me? been in pain like me?

So, I haven’t posted in forever. I didn’t wanna post or talk about the election. I didn’t want to get into argument’s about the Inauguration. But now that it’s over, I’ve got some words. I didn’t vote for Trump. I didn’t vote for Hilary either. Some would say that a third party, or write in vote are just as bad. If you’d like to say that to my face, be my guest. 

Before I really get into this post, I’d like to make it known that I haven’t unfriended anyone from my social media(I have 365 friends, I should actually edit my list cause I don’t talk to a bunch of you). I believe you all have a right to vote for whomever you chose. Just as I do. I’m well aware that this post may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and honestly I feel that way reading a lot of what is being posted by y’all. And I understand that a bunch of people will unfriend me.This post isn’t going to bash on your beliefs, or choices.  I’m not being a judgmental butthead. I’m posting about how I’m feeling. And by unfriending me, I feel like that makes it seem as though my opinions don’t matter. I don’t plan on saying anything that will offend someone, but you never know what will. I don’t intend to get into arguments about this post, so unless you leave a comment saying how well spoken this post is, or how you agree with what is written, please don’t bother spewing hate. It’ll go ignored by myself. So, here goes…

In my soul, as a woman, I couldn’t vote for Trump. I see these posts about, “Hilary did (insert all the things she’s done that people don’t like), while Trump just said ‘mean things'”. And yeah, Hilary isn’t the best choice .  But a man who is now the President, said that it’s okay to grab a woman by the pussy. THE PUSSY! that’s who will be in office. And yeah,  I’m offended! It’s not unheard of to be offended that someone said it’s okay to grab a woman by the pussy, to take away her right to consent. To just pop some Tic Tacs, and start kissing her cause as a celebrity, your rights mean more than mine. I’m offended for myself, for my mother, for my future children, for sisters, aunts, grandmothers, best friends, all women of the world! I’m offended for the men that I know don’t talk like this. I’m offended that it easy brushed off as ‘locker room’ talk. Now we have a man that wants to abolish free health care, that wants to build a wall, that continuously spews racist and homophobic slurs, and doesn’t think climate change is real is who is now in office. (I’m not saying anything judgemental about it, those are just actual things that have been said)   And now, there are riots. There are people protesting. There are fights on Facebook where everyone can hide behind the safety of their screens. America is becoming divided when we’re at our most vulnerable. Family members arguing with each other. Friendships ending. But the worst of it, in my opinion, is the animosity in the church. My fellow believers calling a bunch of people protesting childish. Saying that the opinions of others don’t matter as much as your own. It hurts my heart so deeply when I read some of these things and it really sick because as believers, you’re giving into the stigma that nonbelievers have towards us. Live your life to be honoring to the Lord. You see people acting like fools? Pray for them. You get ‘fed up with’ all the posts about how frightened people are that Trump is president?  Pray for them! You see a video that has no context buto someone claims it’s of an anti Trump nature, and that makes you mad? What should you do?!?!?! Say it with me now- PRAY FOR THEM! That’s what we are called to do! We’re not called to judge anyone, unless you would like to take that giant log our of your eyes first.

I was told that as a white female ,  I’m the least affected. Unfortunately, that’s not true. You see, anyone with a vagina, or pussy (as the new president said ), will be affected . 

 Because yes, I take birth control .  Do I take it to have hours of crazy sex and live a baby free life? No, actually .  You see, two years ago, in September, I got my period. *if this conversation eeks you out, you don’t need to read* I have always had miserable periods, with cramps that make me want to(and at times actually) throw up and stay curled in bed, emotions that run rampant, and blood that soaks through a tampon and pad within 20 minutes .  All of this for 7 days. So I get my period in September. It goes 7 days. It’s miserable. Whatever. Then I’m done. For 3 days. Because then I start to bleed again. It was like the end of a period blood. Not miserable, but I thought I was finished?! This continues for over a month. It wasn’t until I was looking up reasons (and started panicking ), that I decided to go to get checked out. Here’s where I guess I made another HUGE mistake according to some of you. I went to Planned Parenthood. I was a 24 year old, that had just moved to a new state, was making $100 a week, and had no insurance. I made the best choice I could, with what I had. After the Doctor calmed me down and explained that I didn’t have some horrible form of cancer, we discussed that I have an unbalance of hormones and a lessened version of endometriosis. Which means that part of my uterine lining is growing *plot twist* outside of my uterus! She recommended that I get on some form of birth control, or begin taking various hormones to balance everything out. I decided to go for the cheaper (thank God, free) option, and began birth control. Now that it’s been a few years, my periods have become regular, they don’t last a month, they are still very painful because there’s not a whole lot I can do about my jacked up lining. But I don’t have to miss out on life cause I’m stuck in bed and by the toilet. Do I regret taking birth control? Nope. Do I regret going to Planned Parenthood? Heck no.  They didn’t force me to begin taking birth control. They helped me when I was broke and struggling to understand why my body was betraying me. I was so blessed by them because I was freaking out and certain something horrible was wrong and I needed my mom and they took care of me as though I was family. I got access to health care through them as well. Because while I was trying to figure out how to pay the $97 for tests and fees, they encouraged me to apply and processed my application for insurance. I do understand where a lot of people are coming from though. I do understand that abortion isn’t a form of birth control and that you’re fighting to save the lives of the unborn.  I understand that. But don’t make the people that go into Planned Parenthood feel like horrible people, because they’re not. You don’t know their life. You don’t know why they are there. You don’t have a right to judge. And while we’re on this point…  

My last post had so much about how as a believer we’re not to judge. Yet, somehow, everyone forgets that. Am I thrilled that Trump is the president ? Nope. Am i so psyched that he will take away rhe ACA? Not at all. Am I jazzed that his VP wants to put anyone in the LGBQT community into camps where they will ‘pray the gay away’? Sweet Lord, NO! Will I disrespect those that voted for him? Will I unfriend them on Facebook? Will I drag their names through the mud ? Not one bit. 

Today, millions marched for Women. For freedom. For equality. For the ability to defend what was torn down and beaten during this election. For America. If you would like to educate yourself about what the march was about, go check out the Women’s March website and mission statement. Because, well there’s a lot of disrespect going around.  I see the posts about how ‘We didn’t protest when Obama was in office’………………really? Who asked for his birth certificate? Who had anti Obama rallies that had ‘Hang in there Obama’ slogans with crude drawings and photoshopped pictures of a noose? It’s all screwed up. There will always be discontent. There will always be rallies. Today, my beautiful cousin, marched in Portland because she has beliefs.  

 This was her first time voting.  She chose to stand for the rights of women around the world, because that’s what she felt called to do. That’s how she felt her voice would be heard. And I’m so proud of her. I’m awake at almost 3 in the morning, because I have a voice. This is my freedom. This is how my voice will be heard. I’m proud of myself. With the posts going around online, I see the hate.  I see the ‘grow up’  ‘stop acting like children ‘ posts. And they aren’t as kind as the few quotes I wrote.  I agree, protests should be peaceful. Make your voice heard, but don’t damage property. Sing your fight song, but don’t ask that people ‘rape’ the new first lady.  I encourage my fellow Americans, be proud to fight for your rights, be respectful about fighting for your rights,  but absolutely continue to fight for your rights. Remember to look for the light at the end of this tunnel,  because I can promise you that it is there! Be kind to each other, because not only is that what God calls us to do, but it’s freaking nice people! Look out for each other in the coming years, because I have a feeling there will be lots of hard times. 

This election has opened the eyes of Americans to how much hate there is in the world. I don’t know how the next four years will go. But I won’t wish ill will upon Trump. I won’t hope he fails in running the country. In fact,  I hope he proves us all wrong. I hope he succeeds in growing our world, not dividing it. I pray that he does make a difference.  Because I don’t want to bring a child into the world as it is right now. I don’t want them to see this hatred going on. I don’t even want to see this hatred. For the next four years, pray. Before every post that spews hate towards someone you disagree with, pray.  When you’re feeling like this is as good as it’s gonna get, pray. Live your best life the way that works for you.  Not because someone told you to do it, but because it’s your life. You do you…boo boo 😉 

And for the love of all things holy, please choose to post pictures of cute animals and happy things. I miss those days.

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I’m erasing myself from the narrative  

Hello everyone! I’m finally back to posting. These last few months have been one adventure after another and I’m ready to tell y’all about it!  

My last post was for Mother’s Day. But I didn’t really post about my life since January. So, I’ll go a month at a time.

February- I have seriously been blessed with a wonderful man whom goes above and beyond to make me happy. For Valentine’s Day (our second one as a couple) I asked to be surprised. He took me to this amazing restaurant where they had a special menu and you just needed to choose between steak or fish (super fancy), and it was so freaking delicious! There was a roasted beet soup that I need to learn to make ASAP. I think that was it for February.

March- March is my mommas birthday month and last year I remember having a small meltdown because I missed her and couldn’t be there to celebrate. This year I was so busy with work the few weeks leading up to her birthday that it was easier to focus on other things and not freak out. But the Tuesday before her birthday, I found out I wasn’t needed for the next Tuesday  (which was her actual birthday ) I had tinkered around with the idea of flying down a few months before, but plane tickets and work were both working against me so I didn’t give any further thought to it. I knew I had to work the weekend before her birthday, but I still thought maybe I could do something.  I brought it up to Sean as we were walking through Walmart, and the plan started to come together…Until  I saw the ticket prices 😮 they were seriously gross. Thankfully, Sean had a bunch of miles saved up, and suddenly the tickets were bought  (did I mention that I have the best boyfriend?) Cue me being deliriously excited and crying (nothing new here), I just needed to figure out how to keep her awake past nine, get a ride, and not scare the crap put of her (if you’ve ever been to my mom’s house you know she lives in the boonies). This is where I need to give a shout out to Terance, Raul, and Laura! Y’all are rockstars and I am so glad you are in my life! Everything came together so perfectly, I was in tears, my mom was in tears, it was the best! I had such a fun time being with her for her special day!!
Unfortunately, March also had a tragedy occur. Sean’s kitty, Penelope, passed away. She was a great cat. She was a punk sometimes, but she was cute and sweet. It was really hard to lose her, I hadn’t realized how attached I had become to her since she came to live with us last summer. She is still insanely missed, but I’m thankful she’s not suffering anymore. It’s always super crappy having to say goodbye. She won’t ever be replaced, and she was so loved. I’m happy I got to know her.

April- April was tough. We immediately started catsitting for some friends, which honestly helped so much!  Coming home to a pet less house was tough for a few days.  Sean got to experience his first concert! He went to see Mewithoutyou and Say Anything up in Seattle with me. The show was so amazing!  The set list for both bands were incredible. It was great to see bands that I’ve been listening to since I was in high school. The shows were so great! I recommend seeing Say Anything live if you ever have the chance!

May- I posted in May for Mother’s Day. But I didn’t mention that I went to see Beyoncé and how freaking amazing it was and kdnsgwldlfkska!!!! Ugh, it’s disgusting how great the show was! Honestly, I wore terrible shoes, got miserable blisters, was cold, it started raining, and I’m fairly certain I got a contact high just by being in the stadium.  But it was so freaking worth all of it! Also, Julia is considering not being my friend because she loves the Queen and is mad I went without her, but I’d do it all again. I still can’t believe I got to experience that!!!!! 

In addition to the great fun in May, my dog Max (whom my mom claims is her own) decided to go on an adventure, by himself. Thankfully, a neighbor found him! But I had a really tough time with not knowing what to do and being too far away to do anything.1

June- Sean and I flew to California on the first to see a few of my kids graduate. I conveniently forgot how hot it gets in the desert. It was murderous!  But it was worth it to see Sam and Jamya graduate. I’m so very proud of those girls and the future they’re planning. I also got lots of mother/daughter time, which was good cause I seriously miss my mom. And…Sean and I got a puppy!!!! She’s so freaking cute and I love her and she’s totally spoile, cause that’s what I do.

Everyone say hello to Harley –

She’s very similar to a cat in personality, she is still getting used to the fact that there are other dogs in the world and I’m her favorite human (based on the fact that I let her sleep in my King sized bed and take up most of the space -__-). 

Also while I was in California, one of my old youth group kids drew up this awesome cupcake tattoo, 

it’s super cute and I’m so psyched with it! Thank you Joel Gray.

And, while on that note, I had made a Facebook post about this tattoo, and some people commented on their opinions of it. And that’s fine. I’m all for people having their own opinions. But if you choose to question my faith while stating your opinion, we’re going to have a problem. I had several family members text/call/message/post with defensive comments on my behalf, and I appreciate them. I appreciate the defending.  But the fact is, there shouldn’t have been anything to defend. 

I’m a believer. I accepted Christ into my life when I was a Sparky in AWANA. Yes, I’ve screwed up. A lot. Yes, I occasionally say bad words. Yes, I think bad things about people.  Yes, I get jealous. Yes, I question things the Lord is doing in my life (even when I know His plan is always greater than mine). Yes. I fail. Daily. Sometimes hourly. BUT that’s the beauty of the Lord’s grace. He loves me, warts and all. He continually refines my life. I will never be perfect in the eyes of the world. But I’m the eyes of Christ I am His. I don’t appreciate being judged.  I will also never judge. That’s not my job. Just like it isn’t anyone else’s. 

I’m certain when I get to Heaven and meet God, there will be some things He’ll want to chat about. And that’s fine. Because it’s between Him and myself.  My walk with the Lord has had some bumps in the road, for sure. But He’s always there keeping me on the right path. I shouldn’t ever have to justify who I am with God, just as others shouldn’t have to justify their walks. I know I don’t fit the perfect ‘cookie cutter’ ideal of a Christian.  But that doesn’t matter. How I live my life, how I praise my God, and how I glorify His Name and His Word does. I was raised to think about what I say before I say it. I was raised to encourage others and treat everyone with respect.  Some cases have been more difficult than others, but I don’t let that change how I treat people. The way I handled the online comments was with respect, and prayer. I want my words to be eloquent and God honoring. I want to make sure I know what I’m talking about when I’m talking about it. I had Bible verses thrown at me during the comments on Facebook, and that’s great that people know those verses. I know some too; …I was going to include a list here. But I stopped to pray about it. The Lord knows my heart. He knows I was being a brat in what I wanted to write. So, I won’t include that.  I will continue to live my life. I will continue to address situations where I’m being attacked. I will continue to pray for those whom hurt and offend me. Because ultimately, we’re all just trying to get through life. I know that everyone is doing life differently, as they absolutely should! But does that mean their way is wrong? No. Not at all. If you don’t understand how someone could like the things they do, wear the things they wear, say the things they say; you should try looking at it from their point of view. 

You may not be wrong in what you said to me. Because that’s what you see coming from your point of view.  Though I’m not wrong in what I said either, because that was from mine.  

I don’t want this post to be taken out of context as an attack, or a rant. I just want the same respect that I’ve given to everyone over my lifetime.  I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
And now we’re all caught up! 

Sean’s Aunt is in town and we’re going adventuring and whatnot this weekend. So I’ll probably be a bit MIA.  And I’m sure there will be comments on this post, or annoyed emails, which is fine. I was also raised to be an independent  woman, and I’ve always enjoyed speaking my mind.  But I do always make sure to not openly offend anyone.  I hope by posting this,  things get cleared up. And if not,  that’s okay.  I’m not too bothered by it. 

On a completely unrelated note, I’m currently obsessed with the Hamilton musical! Honestly, I think Sean is ready to burn my phone cause I have the soundtrack on repeat consistently. But it’s so good! I need to see it performed. AND there’s a book with the songs, designs, back stories, etc. I need that too (for anyone wanting to know what to get me for any holiday). If you haven’t listened to the soundtrack, you should go do that and let me know what you think! 

If you’d like to send questions, comments, prayer requests, prayers, testimonies, or you just want to chat, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.

Have an awesome day! 

Love y’all and miss y’all,

Kelsey H. 

Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com 

Let’s talk about…

So I normally do a post about how my life has been going, and then I do a Q&A with questions sent from random strangers, or friends, or my kids. And, though I do have a lot to update y’all on regarding my life. I got a few questions anonymously emailed to me and I decided to dedicate this post to questions only. Though prayer for me to get this job in July are definitely appreciated!!!

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Okay, here goes.

QUESTION #1: IS IT OKAY TO HAVE SEX WHEN YOU’RE 14???
The person that emailed this question didn’t state whether they we’re male or female. They also asked me to ‘not use the Bible’ as a reference in my response. But that’s kind of difficult for me. So I’ll give you the response from both a biblical, and a worldly point of view. The answer is no. Biblically, you should wait until marriage to have sex. I’ve had arguments with people about this situation, because if you ask me, I’ll tell you to wait, then you’ll ask if I’m waiting, and I didn’t. My situation was complicated, though. Overall, my response when counseling anyone about having sex before marriage is to ask a simple question. ‘Are you ready to be a parent?’ that’s what it comes down to. Are you ready, at 14, to be a parent? Because that’s the risk you run. Yes, there’s contraception. But what if that fails? Are you ready to spend the rest of your life taking care of another being? Providing food, shelter, clothing, healthcare? Because honestly, even at 24, I’m not ready for that! At 14, are you with a person that you’re willing to share a life with? Every time you have sex, you run the risk of pregnancy, STD’s, and though it sounds silly, but getting your heartbroken. Every time you have sex, that’s a piece of yourself that you’ve shared with someone else. Are you ready for the risk of losing that piece of yourself if your partner decided they wanted to look elsewhere?
So, is it okay to have sex at 14? Following the ways of the world, no. You’re perfectly capable of going through with that. But the age of consent in California is 18. You might be capable of having sex. Basically everyone is. But legally and Biblically, it’s a no-go. If you want to be following God’s plan for your life? I’d recommend that you wait. You’re so special, and God has the perfect person for you! Whether it be the person you’re with now, or someone you don’t meet for several years. That person is out there. And if you’re feeling pressured because of the person you’re with threatening to leave you, or pushing past your boundaries, you need to get out of that relationship. Seriously! If you’re with a person that is pressuring you to agree to have sex, that’s not okay. Get help from an adult that you trust, or even go to the authorities.  That’s dangerous, and you’re better than that. I understand thinking that you’re in love with this person, and wanting to be closer to them than any other person. But you’ve got you’re entire life ahead of you. Honestly, if I was with the guy I had feelings for when I was 14, we’d be living in a trailer in the middle of nowhere…Bleh. I know it’s tough to save yourself. I know you think everyone else is having sex, why shouldn’t you? But I can assure you, you’re not the only person remaining abstinent. If, when you’re 18 and legally able to consent, you decide you’re ready to have sex, remember to stop and think about if you’re ready to be a mommy or daddy.
I’m not gonna say to remain abstinent until marriage. I’m not gonna say to have sex when you can legally consent. But I will say to always use protection. And always remember that if you’re with the person God has prepared for you, you won’t be pressured to wait, it will be the most natural wait ever. Because that person wants to respect and love you like the awesome person you are!!❤❤❤

QUESTION #2: IS IT OK TO LISTEN TO REGULAR MUSIC AS A CHRISTIAN?
I listen to so many different varieties of music. My favorite is punk rock. I love listening to bands that actually know how to play their instruments. A lot of the music I’m listening to ends up with me primarily listening to the beat. Yes, I’m aware that the lyrics aren’t always the best. Sometimes there’s curse words. Sometimes the band is disrespecting authority. I don’t plan to stop listening to these songs. But I also don’t let this music impact my everyday life. I’m not out screaming obscenities about the government. Nor am I sleeping with every person I meet. I’m not doing drugs, and clubbing every weekend. I don’t take the music I listen to literally. I also love listening to worship songs. They tend to make my day significantly better. In response to this question, I would say, if the music you’re listening to is causing your heart to stray, maybe check out some other music. I totally understand not wanting to listen to Christian music, because a lot of it is super cheesy. But there are some really good Christian artists out there. I’d recommend going online and googling Christian artists that are similar to bands you like listening to now. And if you have similar tastes to myself, I’d recommend Thousand Foot Krutch, Family force 5, Disciple, and Skillet. They’re awesome bands that I’ve been blessed to see live, several times !!

QUESTION #3: DO YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR AN EX?
I don’t. Honestly, when I think about my exes, there are really no great enough memories, that would cut out the bad stuff I went through with them. There was a reason they didn’t work out, and I’m not going to hold on to something that wasn’t meant to be.

QUESTION #4: I CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND. SHOULD I TELL HIM?
Yes. I was cheated on, and my ex admitted it to me. I used to wonder, if he hadn’t told me, would we still be together? I most likely, would have found out. And we would have broken up in the end. Cheating sucks, and it’s selfish. I don’t really understand why anyone would do it, but I think it’ll hurt more if your partner found out himself, instead of you admitting you did it. It’s a sucky situation to be in. But in the end, you won’t feel as much guilt, and maybe y’all can work through it!

QUESTION #5: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MARRIAGE EQUALITY?
If you didn’t know, This law passed yesterday. I doubt anyone missed it. But I’m not posting this blog post until Monday, because I don’t want to have disagreements on my last day in California.  How do I feel about it? I feel as I do every single day. That’s not actually true. I’m mad. But not how you think I’d be. I’m mad about how my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are reacting! As a believer, I have been taught to love others as I would want to be loved. And I’ve done that. Do I believe in marriage equality? In a way, yes. I believe if you love someone, you should be allowed to be with them. I saw so many hateful posts yesterday and today. And I’ve heard so many people use horrifyingly derogatory words about something you have no idea about! Using the f** word, is in the same context as using the n***** word. It doesn’t matter if you’re joking, you should NEVER use those words. They’re disrespectful! And it hurts me! I love my boyfriend. But if I happened to have feelings for a female, that’s okay. My faith in God is more important to me, so I’d most likely remain celibate. I spoke with my mom about this yesterday, but we’ve had this conversation before. She loves me, I am her child! If I had feelings for another female, she wouldn’t disown me. She wouldn’t send me to Bible camp and ‘pray the gay’ out of me. That’s ridiculous! She loves me as I am! Gay. Straight. Black. White. Purple. Yellow. Orange.  Whatever! Based on what I’ve seen online, people are acting as though homosexuality means that you’re not a person. That you’re somehow less. And I think that’s total crap! I have family members and good friends that are gay. Does that mean I’m supposed to love them less?? Heck no!! As a Christian, I know what the Bible says. I also know it says to ‘judge not, lest ye be judged’ ( Matthew 7:1)
Overall, this is what I have to say, I don’t support, nor am I against same-sex marriage. I don’t personally care who you love. It grosses me out when anyone makes out in front of me, but I’ve never liked PDA from anyone. I refuse to judge any form of marriage. I saw a friend comment on Facebook that ‘ the government shouldn’t even be involved in marriage’ and I think that’s an awesome point. None of this should have been such a big deal. My question to everyone that is so against this is, why is this such a big deal for you? How does this, in any way, affect you? I’m pretty sure the answer is, it doesn’t. So leave it alone. ‘ Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own?’ ( Matthew 7:3)
Pray for everyone, because that’s what you’re called to do. Love everyone, because you’re also called to do that. And if you have hate in your heart. The Bible has the same outcome for you as that which you’re fighting so hard against.
I love you all, and I’m sure I’ll be getting angry calls and texts. I encourage readers to send me their opinions to discuss this further. It’s only through conversation and the exchange of ideas that our personal understanding of the world, and how to bring the Lord’s message to it, can grow. But let’s try to keep it Christian and leave the personal attacks at home. And please, out of respect, don’t go “telling on me to my mommy”. She will not tolerate rudeness.

😌😌😌😌😌❤❤💞💞☺☺☺

Alright, so that’s it for my serious Q&A, I still have to do a post about my time in California!! And I’ll do that this coming week!! Love y’all, miss y’all!!!

– Kelsey H.💞💞
Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com