Let’s talk about…

So I normally do a post about how my life has been going, and then I do a Q&A with questions sent from random strangers, or friends, or my kids. And, though I do have a lot to update y’all on regarding my life. I got a few questions anonymously emailed to me and I decided to dedicate this post to questions only. Though prayer for me to get this job in July are definitely appreciated!!!

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Okay, here goes.

QUESTION #1: IS IT OKAY TO HAVE SEX WHEN YOU’RE 14???
The person that emailed this question didn’t state whether they we’re male or female. They also asked me to ‘not use the Bible’ as a reference in my response. But that’s kind of difficult for me. So I’ll give you the response from both a biblical, and a worldly point of view. The answer is no. Biblically, you should wait until marriage to have sex. I’ve had arguments with people about this situation, because if you ask me, I’ll tell you to wait, then you’ll ask if I’m waiting, and I didn’t. My situation was complicated, though. Overall, my response when counseling anyone about having sex before marriage is to ask a simple question. ‘Are you ready to be a parent?’ that’s what it comes down to. Are you ready, at 14, to be a parent? Because that’s the risk you run. Yes, there’s contraception. But what if that fails? Are you ready to spend the rest of your life taking care of another being? Providing food, shelter, clothing, healthcare? Because honestly, even at 24, I’m not ready for that! At 14, are you with a person that you’re willing to share a life with? Every time you have sex, you run the risk of pregnancy, STD’s, and though it sounds silly, but getting your heartbroken. Every time you have sex, that’s a piece of yourself that you’ve shared with someone else. Are you ready for the risk of losing that piece of yourself if your partner decided they wanted to look elsewhere?
So, is it okay to have sex at 14? Following the ways of the world, no. You’re perfectly capable of going through with that. But the age of consent in California is 18. You might be capable of having sex. Basically everyone is. But legally and Biblically, it’s a no-go. If you want to be following God’s plan for your life? I’d recommend that you wait. You’re so special, and God has the perfect person for you! Whether it be the person you’re with now, or someone you don’t meet for several years. That person is out there. And if you’re feeling pressured because of the person you’re with threatening to leave you, or pushing past your boundaries, you need to get out of that relationship. Seriously! If you’re with a person that is pressuring you to agree to have sex, that’s not okay. Get help from an adult that you trust, or even go to the authorities.  That’s dangerous, and you’re better than that. I understand thinking that you’re in love with this person, and wanting to be closer to them than any other person. But you’ve got you’re entire life ahead of you. Honestly, if I was with the guy I had feelings for when I was 14, we’d be living in a trailer in the middle of nowhere…Bleh. I know it’s tough to save yourself. I know you think everyone else is having sex, why shouldn’t you? But I can assure you, you’re not the only person remaining abstinent. If, when you’re 18 and legally able to consent, you decide you’re ready to have sex, remember to stop and think about if you’re ready to be a mommy or daddy.
I’m not gonna say to remain abstinent until marriage. I’m not gonna say to have sex when you can legally consent. But I will say to always use protection. And always remember that if you’re with the person God has prepared for you, you won’t be pressured to wait, it will be the most natural wait ever. Because that person wants to respect and love you like the awesome person you are!!❤❤❤

QUESTION #2: IS IT OK TO LISTEN TO REGULAR MUSIC AS A CHRISTIAN?
I listen to so many different varieties of music. My favorite is punk rock. I love listening to bands that actually know how to play their instruments. A lot of the music I’m listening to ends up with me primarily listening to the beat. Yes, I’m aware that the lyrics aren’t always the best. Sometimes there’s curse words. Sometimes the band is disrespecting authority. I don’t plan to stop listening to these songs. But I also don’t let this music impact my everyday life. I’m not out screaming obscenities about the government. Nor am I sleeping with every person I meet. I’m not doing drugs, and clubbing every weekend. I don’t take the music I listen to literally. I also love listening to worship songs. They tend to make my day significantly better. In response to this question, I would say, if the music you’re listening to is causing your heart to stray, maybe check out some other music. I totally understand not wanting to listen to Christian music, because a lot of it is super cheesy. But there are some really good Christian artists out there. I’d recommend going online and googling Christian artists that are similar to bands you like listening to now. And if you have similar tastes to myself, I’d recommend Thousand Foot Krutch, Family force 5, Disciple, and Skillet. They’re awesome bands that I’ve been blessed to see live, several times !!

QUESTION #3: DO YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR AN EX?
I don’t. Honestly, when I think about my exes, there are really no great enough memories, that would cut out the bad stuff I went through with them. There was a reason they didn’t work out, and I’m not going to hold on to something that wasn’t meant to be.

QUESTION #4: I CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND. SHOULD I TELL HIM?
Yes. I was cheated on, and my ex admitted it to me. I used to wonder, if he hadn’t told me, would we still be together? I most likely, would have found out. And we would have broken up in the end. Cheating sucks, and it’s selfish. I don’t really understand why anyone would do it, but I think it’ll hurt more if your partner found out himself, instead of you admitting you did it. It’s a sucky situation to be in. But in the end, you won’t feel as much guilt, and maybe y’all can work through it!

QUESTION #5: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MARRIAGE EQUALITY?
If you didn’t know, This law passed yesterday. I doubt anyone missed it. But I’m not posting this blog post until Monday, because I don’t want to have disagreements on my last day in California.  How do I feel about it? I feel as I do every single day. That’s not actually true. I’m mad. But not how you think I’d be. I’m mad about how my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are reacting! As a believer, I have been taught to love others as I would want to be loved. And I’ve done that. Do I believe in marriage equality? In a way, yes. I believe if you love someone, you should be allowed to be with them. I saw so many hateful posts yesterday and today. And I’ve heard so many people use horrifyingly derogatory words about something you have no idea about! Using the f** word, is in the same context as using the n***** word. It doesn’t matter if you’re joking, you should NEVER use those words. They’re disrespectful! And it hurts me! I love my boyfriend. But if I happened to have feelings for a female, that’s okay. My faith in God is more important to me, so I’d most likely remain celibate. I spoke with my mom about this yesterday, but we’ve had this conversation before. She loves me, I am her child! If I had feelings for another female, she wouldn’t disown me. She wouldn’t send me to Bible camp and ‘pray the gay’ out of me. That’s ridiculous! She loves me as I am! Gay. Straight. Black. White. Purple. Yellow. Orange.  Whatever! Based on what I’ve seen online, people are acting as though homosexuality means that you’re not a person. That you’re somehow less. And I think that’s total crap! I have family members and good friends that are gay. Does that mean I’m supposed to love them less?? Heck no!! As a Christian, I know what the Bible says. I also know it says to ‘judge not, lest ye be judged’ ( Matthew 7:1)
Overall, this is what I have to say, I don’t support, nor am I against same-sex marriage. I don’t personally care who you love. It grosses me out when anyone makes out in front of me, but I’ve never liked PDA from anyone. I refuse to judge any form of marriage. I saw a friend comment on Facebook that ‘ the government shouldn’t even be involved in marriage’ and I think that’s an awesome point. None of this should have been such a big deal. My question to everyone that is so against this is, why is this such a big deal for you? How does this, in any way, affect you? I’m pretty sure the answer is, it doesn’t. So leave it alone. ‘ Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own?’ ( Matthew 7:3)
Pray for everyone, because that’s what you’re called to do. Love everyone, because you’re also called to do that. And if you have hate in your heart. The Bible has the same outcome for you as that which you’re fighting so hard against.
I love you all, and I’m sure I’ll be getting angry calls and texts. I encourage readers to send me their opinions to discuss this further. It’s only through conversation and the exchange of ideas that our personal understanding of the world, and how to bring the Lord’s message to it, can grow. But let’s try to keep it Christian and leave the personal attacks at home. And please, out of respect, don’t go “telling on me to my mommy”. She will not tolerate rudeness.

😌😌😌😌😌❤❤💞💞☺☺☺

Alright, so that’s it for my serious Q&A, I still have to do a post about my time in California!! And I’ll do that this coming week!! Love y’all, miss y’all!!!

– Kelsey H.💞💞
Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com

A minor threat, is still a threat.

I really need a new job. I need this interview on Sunday to go really well. This job is horrid. In the month that I have been here I have never actually considered leaving and going back home to California. Until yesterday.

This week started out iffy, which should’ve let me know I should be wary of everything. The dad took Monday off of work. Was it to give me the day off? Nope. It was to go ride quads with his bros. Which I really don’t care about. It isn’t really an issue for me. What is an issue for me though. Is that last Friday, which should have been when I got paid, which is way less than minimum wage, I wasn’t. That’s right. I wasn’t paid. When I got back on Friday night, no one was home. Then I had to find the dad Saturday and ask for my check, but he was out of checks and not planning on going out during the weekend. So Monday comes along…I get that banks are closed on Sunday, so getting checks isn’t an option. That doesn’t explain the fact that he had several opportunities this entire week to go freaking get cash!!! Seeing as how he had the money to buy gas for the quads, Budweiser Platinum (which is more expensive and not on sale currently) (yes, I do my research), and an endless supply of cigarettes, I would think that paying me the money I actually worked for wouldn’t be the most difficult thing ever! But wait, that’s not all! On Wednesday, the mother brings the daughters over, and a bunch of half used groceries… why? Because her power got shut off for nonpayment! Then, I find out yesterday (after still not getting my money, even though I told the dad I needed it Wednesday cause I have bills I need to pay) that I would get my cash on Friday(today) morning because he had to go pay his ex wife’s electricity bill with my effing money!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!! And he has to wait for his money to be deposited into his account. The freaking guy didn’t even apologize or seem like he thought not paying me but buying all this crap was an issue!! Plus, the ex and her spawn have spent the last few nights in his house. Even though the power is back on…

Whatever, that’s not even the worst part, and trust me, it gets bad.

On Wednesday, it was picture day. I will forever rock out picture day. When I have my own children, they will look amazeballs on picture day! So, with the Kid, I made sure he woke up early. He had bathed the night before, so his hair looked like crap. But I got him an awesome outfit together, and did his hair. The kid look rockin. Super sharp! (His outfit even matched, it was amazing) Even the neighbor was shocked with how good he looked! So, it was a decent morning. But the afternoon came… which meant homework. As it always does. As it has for the past month that I’ve been there! The kid gets home. He’s mad about some unknown factor. And refuses to do his homework. I inform him he has to. So he does. Then he asks to go to the neighbors, which is fine. I tell him to be back by five. It gives him a little less than an hour. He agrees. Sure enough, five comes around and he hasn’t returned. By five fifteen, I decide to go get him. When I get to the neighbors he refuses to go home and do his 20 minutes of reading. So I say the more he refuses and argues with me the more time I’m having him read. I really don’t know why it’s such an issue to read! It baffles me!!! Anyway, he runs to the house, slams the front door closed, goes and starts throwing books everywhere. Not just randomly tossing them. Nope. Full on throwing them across the room! One of which happened to go right by my freaking face! I don’t think he was intentionally throwing them at me, but throwing them in general is not okay! I informed him of this fun fact and told him he needs to sit down and read. He continued to argue with me and picked up a baseball bat and glared at me, asking what I would do if he doesn’t read. I told him he was threatening me by holding the bat and glaring at me and he needed to put it down, so he throws it down, then pickers it up glaring at me again. Then he runs upstairs and locks himself in his room, so I told him I was adding two minutes for every minute he didn’t come read. He runs back downstairs, and looks me right in the eye and tells me he hates me!!!! HE HATES ME!!! Freaking HATES me! AHHHHHHH!!! I looked right back at him told him I loved it when he tells me that and he apologized when he realized I was going to be telling his dad. So, I told him to go sit and read. He did and continued to glare. I texted what happened to his dad and the dad called to talk with him. I’m not sure what happened, but the kid took a book to his room. Slammed the door closed, and started throwing stuff around. His mom came over (with all the half eaten groceries) and I told her what happened and that I was going out cause I needed to get away from him. She didn’t seem phased by the fact that he acted like that and I didn’t care to be there any longer. I ended up going to the neighbors (who is so freaking awesome!!!!) and just chilling until around ten. When I got back the Kid was awake, as were his sisters, and his mom. His mom made him hand me a letter that said he didn’t hate me and was having a bad day and that he was sorry and would try to act better. Then he ran inside after handing it to me, and I asked the mom if she had him write it, she said she did, and that “anger issues run in the family” as if that was a good excuse for throwing crap at me and yelling and threatening me with an effing bat?!?!? I just said okay and went to my room. I was sitting on the floor in the corner reading and the kids were all stilt wide awake until after midnight, which isn’t okay, especially on a school night, but both parents were there and I was off the clock. The dad was asleep when I got home.(Keep this little tidbit in mind for later) I finally decide to get in bed and go to sleep at 12:30, I’m still hearing the kids awake, but that’s not my issue. I fall asleep for a little over an hour and wake up because my shoulder is killing me!!! Why? Oh, because there’s a hole in my freaking air mattress!! The same air mattress that I haven’t moved, and that I haven’t had anything sharp near! I’m basically lying on the ground, surrounded by my pillows and blankets and I hit a point where I was done. The kid put a freaking hole in my air mattress! Granted, I can’t prove this. But how else do you explain why there’s suddenly a hole? It’s just super suspicious! Anyway, I hit my limit. I burst into tears and was looking into jobs back in California. I was texting my mom even though she was asleep, but she woke up and responded at three when I was still wide awake and breaking down, and she talked me though it. Thanks mom!! I still plan on staying in Washington. At least for six months. I have to give this a shot. I can’t just abandon this! God has me here for a reason. But I still needed to deal with what was happening. I fell asleep around six yesterday morning. Had to be up by six forty to get the kid ready for school (even though his mother was there and could’ve done it but whatever) and I was exhausted to the point of delirium. Definitely not a time to mess with me, or argue. The kids sisters were out of school yesterday, and he was tired because he didn’t get to sleep on time. He argued that it wasn’t fair that he had to go to school and asked his mom (who woke up because he was arguing with me, but didn’t stop him from arguing with me) if he could stay home from school, the mom was legitimately going to let this freaking punk stay home (while she went to work and left me with two extra kids), but I refused and said he was going and to get dressed for the day and downstairs for breakfast. He looked at her and asked her again and I stared her down basically daring her to undermine me. She told him to do as I said and that she would walk him to the bus stop. I went downstairs and got his breakfast ready and he was out the door (without a thank you… there’s never actually been a thank you, now that I think about it). I went to get a shower and when I came downstairs the two girls were there and the mother was gone. My job is not to watch these children. So, I left. No one has said anything about it.

Anyway, I hung out with the neighbor all day and went through the typical symptoms of exhaustion. It was great. Then the kid was gonna get home and neither of the parents were back yet. So, I went to get him, then he had a snack and started the arguing. I decided to record what he was saying in the event that the dad wasn’t understanding that this kid is rude as heck to me. He argued that he didn’t have school on Friday so he shouldn’t have to do his homework. I told him he was still doing it. He said I was mean. I told him he was still doing his homework. He said he was only doing half of the page, I said he was doing it all. He argued that for ten minutes and said his parents were gonna let him only do half of it. I informed him that was great, but I’m not his parent and he was doing it all. He glared at me and argued the entire time. I said he was getting less free time for all the arguing and delaying he was doing and he said that wouldn’t happen. Finally he finished and he only had 20 minutes of free time. But his dad got home and said it was fine if he was done… freaking seriously?! This is why the kid doesn’t do anything I say! Because he is allowed to walk all over his parents and they LET him!! I asked the dad if he had my money and he said he would go get it early in the morning and leave it for me. Then I said I wanted to talk about everything that happened the day before and I mentioned about my bed and he said it wasn’t the kids cause he was with them all night which is complete BS, because that little tidbit that I said earlier about him being asleep when I got home!! There was plenty of time for the little axe murderer in training (my mothers nickname for him) to damage my property! But when I mentioned that the kid was still slamming doors after he spoke with his dad, the dad told him he was grounded from video games for two weeks. So, whatever. I decided I was going to power through because, for all I know, the job interview on Sunday could be perfect and I will be moving soon anyway.

But then, when I woke up today (I slept in because the kid was off of school and the sisters were too, so everyone was home, and the mother was off work so she could be an actual parent and I could have Friday off as was originally agreed upon before I took the job) I walked out to go brush my teeth and get ready for my day. And I find the kid and his sisters all playing video games and eating my freaking cereal!!!! And where is the mother? Heck if I know!!! But she for sure wasn’t there watching her children!! And how about that money of mine that I was supposed to get last freaking week?!?! Yeah, that’s not anywhere to be found!! So, I call the dad and he says that the older sister is watching the kids and I don’t have to stay if I have plans, and that he woke up late so he would get me my money by tonight. UGHHHHHHHH!!!!! So, I decided to go hang with the neighbor and go to youth group. Anything to stay out of the house that smells disgusting because I refuse to wash their dishes that they have left scattered throughout the house from last weekend when I wasn’t even present, nor did I eat any food. And since they moved in on Wednesday, I have not been in the kitchen or had anything to eat from them and the dishes have continued to pile up. When I was hired, I was told that I didn’t have to clean. I did the dishes whenever I would use them, or when the Kid would use some. But I made the mistake one Monday of washing all the dishes in the kitchen cause it was gross, when I hadn’t even been there that weekend!!! So, I guess they just expect me to do them now. But I refuse to. I don’t care if that seems petty. I don’t get paid to be a housekeeper…I’m technically not even being PAID! So, back to me getting ready to leave. I decided to get a shower before I left. The girls have been using my bathroom every weekend, which means they use my shampoo, conditioner, and soap. And I have colored hair so I have special shampoo and conditioner which is a little more expensive than the Suave! Plus, the teenager used my towels to get dry and my loofah (which is super disgusting and should not freaking be done!!). So I have to take my stuff out of the bathroom every time they’re over. Anyway, I’m getting ready to hop in the shower, I have put my towels and makeup bag in the bathroom, but I remembered I had to grab my other toiletries. As I went to grab my stuff, I come back to the bathroom and the teenager is standing in there, she looks at me, says she needs a shower, and shuts the door in my face!! I was shocked and mad, but I decided I would not fight that particular battle. However, seconds later she knocks on my door asking for MY toiletries!! I told her they were gone and she said that there was a lot left earlier in the week. I told her, “yeah, you’re not understanding. They’re gone for you. Those are my products. Not yours.” So she walked away looking mad. But that isn’t my issue. About two hours later she exits the bathroom… she’s kind of a jerk. And I finally get my shower. But the bathroom is now trashed with towels on the floor, and hair and makeup everywhere. Whatever. Not caring. I got a shower, got dressed, and came to the awesome safety of the neighbors house.

I haven’t been at home today. I’m avoiding it as long as I possibly can. I was really blessed to have my awesome neighbor friend be there for me this week with words of comfort, and coffee!! Plus, tonight after youth group I was blessed to hang out with my awesome new friend Nika (the youth pastors wife). This weekend I’m going to a pumpkin festival, and then Seattle for the interview!! Things are looking up. I’m keeping my heart focused on Christ. I know everything will work out. I’m not going to be doing a Q&A on this post cause it was basically me venting. I’m sorry for all the negativity. I am really working on getting through all this drama. Right now the prayer is that I would know what to do if I don’t get the other job. The neighbor has been amazing and said I will always have a place to stay with her. But she lives across the street from the crazy family that I would be running away from. So I need to consider what I will do if that occurs. 

As always, keep your emails and messages coming! I love the testimonies and questions. Especially the testimonies! I love seeing the awesome works that Christ is doing in your lives! God is so good!!! Love y’all, and miss y’all.

-Kelsey H.💕💕
Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com

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That’s my cousin in the pic. I miss her a lot:'(:'(💕💕