Hey momma!

Let’s have a mother’s day post!!!

What better way to bring back the blog?!

So, this year I actually bought my mom a card. Shocking,  I know! I even bought it a few weeks ago so I would be able to send it out and have it arrive in time. But did I remember or have time to do that? Of course not! I fail in the daughter department sometimes. It’s crappy, but whatever!

I love my mom. She knows that.

Unfortunately, we live over 20 hours away from each other, which is difficult, emotionally, on these holidays.  I was so lucky and blessed to be able to surprise her for her birthday back in March,
but I still wish we could be together today.
I remember growing up and seeing father’s day posts from friends, or watching a father and daughter on TV, and thinking it kinda sucked to not be able to do that. To have that relationship with my father. But I always had my mom, she always made that day a regular day for me. And I never realized that at some point I would look on Facebook and get jealous of all the Mother’s day posts. I miss my mom more than anything and I am glad she is still around but I realized that a lot of people don’t get to have this day with their mom for a different reason than almost 2,000 miles.  There are people out there that lost their momma and I know my mom is one of those people.
I know this because today would have been my Grandma’s birthday.  I miss her a lot, but I wasn’t raised by her. I didn’t get the chance to come home from school and talk about my day with her. Or, cry on her shoulder because my heart hurt. I didn’t get to tell her about school assignments, or my hopes and dreams. I didn’t have the same relationship with her that I have with my mom. I know my mom misses her momma because there’s a huge distance between here and heaven. I know she wishes she would be able to pick up the phone and tell her momma about how rockin her granddaughter is (I’m a very humble person). Or, just tell her Happy Mother’s Day one more time.

So, for those of you out there that don’t have your momma with you today.  My heart hurts for you, but I know they’re all up in the sky getting the best Mother’s Day celebration ever. And celebrating my grandma for her birthday!
I was blessed with such an awesome mom, and I know I was a punk when I was younger, and I hurt her heart time and time again. But she was always there. She’s still always there. I hope when I have kids they will be as in awe of me as I am of my mother.
My mom kicks butt.
She’s powerful.
She’s graceful.
She’s smart.
She’s hilarious.
She’s sarcastic.
She’s humble.

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She taught me everything I know and has always fought for me and with me against any wall that has blocked my path.
I know that she has put up with a lot of crap from me over the years and I’m so grateful she never walked away. I know there were things that scared her, but she stood by me. I can only hope that you all have a mother as awesome as mine. Or that you are a mother as awesome as mine.

I want to wish all you mothers the happiest of Mother’s Days! You rock,  your strength in the everyday tasks of motherhood amazes me. I hope you’re spoiled and pampered today. Or, if you’re not near your mom, or kiddos, that you can make up for it when you see them next (I get to celebrate my mom in June!).
Love and miss y’all.  I’ll post later this week about what’s been happening in my life!!

The adventures of motherhood

I was a jerk teenager.
I know most people say they were rebellious and moody when they were teenagers. But I was legitimately a jerk. Looking back and remembering some of the things I did, or words I had said, reminds me that mom’s are equipped to handle a lot!

Today is Mother’s Day! I was sitting in the card aisle at Target, Walgreens, and then RiteAid, and looking at the cards for moms. And they’re fine. But none of them were great. None of them said what I wanted to say. None of them brought you to the verge of happy tears, or made you laugh out loud. None of them were personal enough. I can’t just send a mediocre card to my mom!! That’s insanity! So, now we have a Blog post!

I’m not near my mom today, which kinda sucks. I miss her more than I can explain. I realize that I miss the random things that you don’t really associate with motherhood. Like being able to sit next to her in church and share random inside jokes that are probably not that funny, but to you two, it’s the most hilarious. Or, cracking up about the fact that your mom is slightly addicted to trashy television. Being able to go  ‘grocery shopping’ in your moms pantry and fridge. Having your irrational mood swings be understood by someone. Being able to show your mom how to do things with technology. Like I said, it’s the little things. But there’s a ton of the big things I miss. Going to her house and talking until 2 in the morning. All day movie marathons. Molé and chicken tortilla soup cooking parties.

My mom is my favorite. It’s a known fact that I have a lot of mom’s. There’s my actual mom that’s blood. Then there’s the many that have played a big part in my life. My mom has always been there, even when I was at rock bottom. Even when I was certain I didn’t want to continue living. Even when I pushed her away. As a child of a single mom, I’ve realized that I’ve taken so much for granted. I know it couldn’t have been easy to raise a daughter, work full time, make meals, keep a house, and have any time for yourself. But I’m so grateful you did! You taught me how to be my own person. You taught me how to laugh when I’m hurting. You taught me how to follow my dreams. You taught me how to love selflessly. You taught me how to be a mom. I know when the time comes, and I’m raising my own children, I’ll be such a rockin mom, because I had you as an example. Thank you for never giving up on me, even when you didn’t understand how to help. Thank you for holding me, and letting me wipe my tears and snot on you. Thank you for being my nurse, my therapist, my comedian, my defender, my personal chef, my chauffeur, and my voice of reason. Thank you, Momma.

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This last Wednesday I had an amazing interview for this nanny agency up here in Washington. When I did an over the phone interview, I was asked a few questions about my resumé. One of the questions was about working in a church nursery. The guy that owns the company asked if that meant I was a Christian, to which I replied that I was. He then continued to tell me that he and his wife were believers as well!! So then I’m interviewing and filling out paperwork in person and having a wonderful chat with the owner about everything, from my beliefs, to working as a youth leader, and when it’s all done, the owner asks me to tell my mom thank you on behalf of himself. He said ‘ tell her she raised a lovely young woman, with a heart that is absolutely dedicated to the Lord’. I honestly don’t think there’s any better compliment. I truly hope that one day my children will make that phone call to let me know that other people can see the awesome work being done in their lives.

And I wanted to send a huge Thank you and Happy Mother’s Day to all my other moms!! I’ve had some seriously amazing influences over the years, whether it be my amazing aunts keeping me stocked in Barbie’s and love, or my awesome church mom’s keeping me accountable, or my best friends mom’s basically adopting me into their lives, you’ve all been there for me in one way or another through all these years, and I’m thankful that you’ve been put into my life.

I truly wouldn’t be the young woman I am today without you wonderful women in my life!! I hope you all have an amazing day, and that you get super spoiled by your families!!

The happiest of days

So this past week has been a little(a lot) hard for me, in terms of me being homesick. I’m fairly certain the main reason is because today is my momma’s birthday, and I couldn’t be there! So, after having a small breakdown last night. And several tears today. I decided to write my mom a birthday letter. I’ll post it here so you can know how rockin she is!!

Dear Momma,
Thank you.
Thank you for holding me when I cry.
Thank you for cleaning up my scraped knees, and random messes.
Thank you for making me laugh when all I can think of is crying.
Thank you for teaching me how to be a woman of God by giving me such wonderful examples!
Thank you for staying awake with me until early hours of the morning because I just needed to talk.
Mom, you rock!
I’m well aware that I was not the best child at times. I know sometimes I hurt you when I was hurting. And you absolutely did not deserve that. You’ve always walked alongside me and helped me figure things out. You’ve shown me and encouraged me to follow through on what’s honoring to God. You put on a brave face when I’m terrified of what the possible outcome will be. And you’ve shown me it’s okay to have bad days, as long as I don’t dwell there.
Mom, you’ve been there for me when I know you were exhausted. You’ve stayed awake with me, just cause I needed to talk through things. You’ve helped heal broken hearts and sat through long hospital visits. I remember being in so much pain, and terrified of what could be wrong with me (kidney stones) and you just held me and got me endless ice packs and barf bags (it was  not a pleasant experience), and pleaded with the nurses to help me.
Over the years I’ve realized that being a mom doesn’t mean just being in charge of a child that you carried. Being a mom means making tough decisions that will sometimes make your kid hate you, but ultimately benefits them. Being a mom means being a nurse, and trying to keep your calm when all you want to do is cry because your baby is not okay. Being a mom means being a therapist, because your kid kid just went through a breakup and while you want to go punch the little jerk that broke their heart, you know just listening and advising against slashing tires is the best solution. Being a mom means being a teacher, and helping your child learn to survive through the easiest and the most difficult of times. Being a mom means being a chef, and putting up with random food phases(tuna salad for a month). Being a mom means being a chauffeur, and putting up with the same CD (Green Day American Idiot) on repeat for months at a time. Being a mom means being a musician, and making up lullabies or altering the ones that are slightly terrifying. Being a mom means being a stylist, or in my case letting me be a stylist. Being a mom means letting me do your hair, even when it ends up with me pulling your hair and pushing hair clips into your scalp. Being a mom means being an advocate, it means you fight for your kid to get the things needed to thrive. Being a mom means sometimes being a dad, this one you’ve had to do a lot. You’ve had to be both the good cop, and the bad cop. You’ve had to work to provide for both of us, sometimes going without because you knew I needed something. I know sometimes it might have been easier to have a father in my life, but I want you to know that I never really needed one. You always took care of me. You always fought for me, even when it was against myself.
Mom, I know you have hard days. I know life hasn’t been the easiest for you. I know I haven’t been the easiest. But I’m so thankful that God gave me you as a mom! I’m thankful that you have always loved me, even when you didn’t like me. You’re a rockstar mom! I’m blessed beyond words because I get to call you mom, and I hope one day I can be as awesome as you!! I love you so much, and hope you had an awesome day. I’ll see you soon!!!

Love you,
Kelsey (your favorite;))

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