I’m erasing myself from the narrative  

Hello everyone! I’m finally back to posting. These last few months have been one adventure after another and I’m ready to tell y’all about it!  

My last post was for Mother’s Day. But I didn’t really post about my life since January. So, I’ll go a month at a time.

February- I have seriously been blessed with a wonderful man whom goes above and beyond to make me happy. For Valentine’s Day (our second one as a couple) I asked to be surprised. He took me to this amazing restaurant where they had a special menu and you just needed to choose between steak or fish (super fancy), and it was so freaking delicious! There was a roasted beet soup that I need to learn to make ASAP. I think that was it for February.

March- March is my mommas birthday month and last year I remember having a small meltdown because I missed her and couldn’t be there to celebrate. This year I was so busy with work the few weeks leading up to her birthday that it was easier to focus on other things and not freak out. But the Tuesday before her birthday, I found out I wasn’t needed for the next Tuesday  (which was her actual birthday ) I had tinkered around with the idea of flying down a few months before, but plane tickets and work were both working against me so I didn’t give any further thought to it. I knew I had to work the weekend before her birthday, but I still thought maybe I could do something.  I brought it up to Sean as we were walking through Walmart, and the plan started to come together…Until  I saw the ticket prices 😮 they were seriously gross. Thankfully, Sean had a bunch of miles saved up, and suddenly the tickets were bought  (did I mention that I have the best boyfriend?) Cue me being deliriously excited and crying (nothing new here), I just needed to figure out how to keep her awake past nine, get a ride, and not scare the crap put of her (if you’ve ever been to my mom’s house you know she lives in the boonies). This is where I need to give a shout out to Terance, Raul, and Laura! Y’all are rockstars and I am so glad you are in my life! Everything came together so perfectly, I was in tears, my mom was in tears, it was the best! I had such a fun time being with her for her special day!!
Unfortunately, March also had a tragedy occur. Sean’s kitty, Penelope, passed away. She was a great cat. She was a punk sometimes, but she was cute and sweet. It was really hard to lose her, I hadn’t realized how attached I had become to her since she came to live with us last summer. She is still insanely missed, but I’m thankful she’s not suffering anymore. It’s always super crappy having to say goodbye. She won’t ever be replaced, and she was so loved. I’m happy I got to know her.

April- April was tough. We immediately started catsitting for some friends, which honestly helped so much!  Coming home to a pet less house was tough for a few days.  Sean got to experience his first concert! He went to see Mewithoutyou and Say Anything up in Seattle with me. The show was so amazing!  The set list for both bands were incredible. It was great to see bands that I’ve been listening to since I was in high school. The shows were so great! I recommend seeing Say Anything live if you ever have the chance!

May- I posted in May for Mother’s Day. But I didn’t mention that I went to see Beyoncé and how freaking amazing it was and kdnsgwldlfkska!!!! Ugh, it’s disgusting how great the show was! Honestly, I wore terrible shoes, got miserable blisters, was cold, it started raining, and I’m fairly certain I got a contact high just by being in the stadium.  But it was so freaking worth all of it! Also, Julia is considering not being my friend because she loves the Queen and is mad I went without her, but I’d do it all again. I still can’t believe I got to experience that!!!!! 

In addition to the great fun in May, my dog Max (whom my mom claims is her own) decided to go on an adventure, by himself. Thankfully, a neighbor found him! But I had a really tough time with not knowing what to do and being too far away to do anything.1

June- Sean and I flew to California on the first to see a few of my kids graduate. I conveniently forgot how hot it gets in the desert. It was murderous!  But it was worth it to see Sam and Jamya graduate. I’m so very proud of those girls and the future they’re planning. I also got lots of mother/daughter time, which was good cause I seriously miss my mom. And…Sean and I got a puppy!!!! She’s so freaking cute and I love her and she’s totally spoile, cause that’s what I do.

Everyone say hello to Harley –

She’s very similar to a cat in personality, she is still getting used to the fact that there are other dogs in the world and I’m her favorite human (based on the fact that I let her sleep in my King sized bed and take up most of the space -__-). 

Also while I was in California, one of my old youth group kids drew up this awesome cupcake tattoo, 

it’s super cute and I’m so psyched with it! Thank you Joel Gray.

And, while on that note, I had made a Facebook post about this tattoo, and some people commented on their opinions of it. And that’s fine. I’m all for people having their own opinions. But if you choose to question my faith while stating your opinion, we’re going to have a problem. I had several family members text/call/message/post with defensive comments on my behalf, and I appreciate them. I appreciate the defending.  But the fact is, there shouldn’t have been anything to defend. 

I’m a believer. I accepted Christ into my life when I was a Sparky in AWANA. Yes, I’ve screwed up. A lot. Yes, I occasionally say bad words. Yes, I think bad things about people.  Yes, I get jealous. Yes, I question things the Lord is doing in my life (even when I know His plan is always greater than mine). Yes. I fail. Daily. Sometimes hourly. BUT that’s the beauty of the Lord’s grace. He loves me, warts and all. He continually refines my life. I will never be perfect in the eyes of the world. But I’m the eyes of Christ I am His. I don’t appreciate being judged.  I will also never judge. That’s not my job. Just like it isn’t anyone else’s. 

I’m certain when I get to Heaven and meet God, there will be some things He’ll want to chat about. And that’s fine. Because it’s between Him and myself.  My walk with the Lord has had some bumps in the road, for sure. But He’s always there keeping me on the right path. I shouldn’t ever have to justify who I am with God, just as others shouldn’t have to justify their walks. I know I don’t fit the perfect ‘cookie cutter’ ideal of a Christian.  But that doesn’t matter. How I live my life, how I praise my God, and how I glorify His Name and His Word does. I was raised to think about what I say before I say it. I was raised to encourage others and treat everyone with respect.  Some cases have been more difficult than others, but I don’t let that change how I treat people. The way I handled the online comments was with respect, and prayer. I want my words to be eloquent and God honoring. I want to make sure I know what I’m talking about when I’m talking about it. I had Bible verses thrown at me during the comments on Facebook, and that’s great that people know those verses. I know some too; …I was going to include a list here. But I stopped to pray about it. The Lord knows my heart. He knows I was being a brat in what I wanted to write. So, I won’t include that.  I will continue to live my life. I will continue to address situations where I’m being attacked. I will continue to pray for those whom hurt and offend me. Because ultimately, we’re all just trying to get through life. I know that everyone is doing life differently, as they absolutely should! But does that mean their way is wrong? No. Not at all. If you don’t understand how someone could like the things they do, wear the things they wear, say the things they say; you should try looking at it from their point of view. 

You may not be wrong in what you said to me. Because that’s what you see coming from your point of view.  Though I’m not wrong in what I said either, because that was from mine.  

I don’t want this post to be taken out of context as an attack, or a rant. I just want the same respect that I’ve given to everyone over my lifetime.  I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
And now we’re all caught up! 

Sean’s Aunt is in town and we’re going adventuring and whatnot this weekend. So I’ll probably be a bit MIA.  And I’m sure there will be comments on this post, or annoyed emails, which is fine. I was also raised to be an independent  woman, and I’ve always enjoyed speaking my mind.  But I do always make sure to not openly offend anyone.  I hope by posting this,  things get cleared up. And if not,  that’s okay.  I’m not too bothered by it. 

On a completely unrelated note, I’m currently obsessed with the Hamilton musical! Honestly, I think Sean is ready to burn my phone cause I have the soundtrack on repeat consistently. But it’s so good! I need to see it performed. AND there’s a book with the songs, designs, back stories, etc. I need that too (for anyone wanting to know what to get me for any holiday). If you haven’t listened to the soundtrack, you should go do that and let me know what you think! 

If you’d like to send questions, comments, prayer requests, prayers, testimonies, or you just want to chat, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.

Have an awesome day! 

Love y’all and miss y’all,

Kelsey H. 

Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com 

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A minor threat, is still a threat.

I really need a new job. I need this interview on Sunday to go really well. This job is horrid. In the month that I have been here I have never actually considered leaving and going back home to California. Until yesterday.

This week started out iffy, which should’ve let me know I should be wary of everything. The dad took Monday off of work. Was it to give me the day off? Nope. It was to go ride quads with his bros. Which I really don’t care about. It isn’t really an issue for me. What is an issue for me though. Is that last Friday, which should have been when I got paid, which is way less than minimum wage, I wasn’t. That’s right. I wasn’t paid. When I got back on Friday night, no one was home. Then I had to find the dad Saturday and ask for my check, but he was out of checks and not planning on going out during the weekend. So Monday comes along…I get that banks are closed on Sunday, so getting checks isn’t an option. That doesn’t explain the fact that he had several opportunities this entire week to go freaking get cash!!! Seeing as how he had the money to buy gas for the quads, Budweiser Platinum (which is more expensive and not on sale currently) (yes, I do my research), and an endless supply of cigarettes, I would think that paying me the money I actually worked for wouldn’t be the most difficult thing ever! But wait, that’s not all! On Wednesday, the mother brings the daughters over, and a bunch of half used groceries… why? Because her power got shut off for nonpayment! Then, I find out yesterday (after still not getting my money, even though I told the dad I needed it Wednesday cause I have bills I need to pay) that I would get my cash on Friday(today) morning because he had to go pay his ex wife’s electricity bill with my effing money!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!! And he has to wait for his money to be deposited into his account. The freaking guy didn’t even apologize or seem like he thought not paying me but buying all this crap was an issue!! Plus, the ex and her spawn have spent the last few nights in his house. Even though the power is back on…

Whatever, that’s not even the worst part, and trust me, it gets bad.

On Wednesday, it was picture day. I will forever rock out picture day. When I have my own children, they will look amazeballs on picture day! So, with the Kid, I made sure he woke up early. He had bathed the night before, so his hair looked like crap. But I got him an awesome outfit together, and did his hair. The kid look rockin. Super sharp! (His outfit even matched, it was amazing) Even the neighbor was shocked with how good he looked! So, it was a decent morning. But the afternoon came… which meant homework. As it always does. As it has for the past month that I’ve been there! The kid gets home. He’s mad about some unknown factor. And refuses to do his homework. I inform him he has to. So he does. Then he asks to go to the neighbors, which is fine. I tell him to be back by five. It gives him a little less than an hour. He agrees. Sure enough, five comes around and he hasn’t returned. By five fifteen, I decide to go get him. When I get to the neighbors he refuses to go home and do his 20 minutes of reading. So I say the more he refuses and argues with me the more time I’m having him read. I really don’t know why it’s such an issue to read! It baffles me!!! Anyway, he runs to the house, slams the front door closed, goes and starts throwing books everywhere. Not just randomly tossing them. Nope. Full on throwing them across the room! One of which happened to go right by my freaking face! I don’t think he was intentionally throwing them at me, but throwing them in general is not okay! I informed him of this fun fact and told him he needs to sit down and read. He continued to argue with me and picked up a baseball bat and glared at me, asking what I would do if he doesn’t read. I told him he was threatening me by holding the bat and glaring at me and he needed to put it down, so he throws it down, then pickers it up glaring at me again. Then he runs upstairs and locks himself in his room, so I told him I was adding two minutes for every minute he didn’t come read. He runs back downstairs, and looks me right in the eye and tells me he hates me!!!! HE HATES ME!!! Freaking HATES me! AHHHHHHH!!! I looked right back at him told him I loved it when he tells me that and he apologized when he realized I was going to be telling his dad. So, I told him to go sit and read. He did and continued to glare. I texted what happened to his dad and the dad called to talk with him. I’m not sure what happened, but the kid took a book to his room. Slammed the door closed, and started throwing stuff around. His mom came over (with all the half eaten groceries) and I told her what happened and that I was going out cause I needed to get away from him. She didn’t seem phased by the fact that he acted like that and I didn’t care to be there any longer. I ended up going to the neighbors (who is so freaking awesome!!!!) and just chilling until around ten. When I got back the Kid was awake, as were his sisters, and his mom. His mom made him hand me a letter that said he didn’t hate me and was having a bad day and that he was sorry and would try to act better. Then he ran inside after handing it to me, and I asked the mom if she had him write it, she said she did, and that “anger issues run in the family” as if that was a good excuse for throwing crap at me and yelling and threatening me with an effing bat?!?!? I just said okay and went to my room. I was sitting on the floor in the corner reading and the kids were all stilt wide awake until after midnight, which isn’t okay, especially on a school night, but both parents were there and I was off the clock. The dad was asleep when I got home.(Keep this little tidbit in mind for later) I finally decide to get in bed and go to sleep at 12:30, I’m still hearing the kids awake, but that’s not my issue. I fall asleep for a little over an hour and wake up because my shoulder is killing me!!! Why? Oh, because there’s a hole in my freaking air mattress!! The same air mattress that I haven’t moved, and that I haven’t had anything sharp near! I’m basically lying on the ground, surrounded by my pillows and blankets and I hit a point where I was done. The kid put a freaking hole in my air mattress! Granted, I can’t prove this. But how else do you explain why there’s suddenly a hole? It’s just super suspicious! Anyway, I hit my limit. I burst into tears and was looking into jobs back in California. I was texting my mom even though she was asleep, but she woke up and responded at three when I was still wide awake and breaking down, and she talked me though it. Thanks mom!! I still plan on staying in Washington. At least for six months. I have to give this a shot. I can’t just abandon this! God has me here for a reason. But I still needed to deal with what was happening. I fell asleep around six yesterday morning. Had to be up by six forty to get the kid ready for school (even though his mother was there and could’ve done it but whatever) and I was exhausted to the point of delirium. Definitely not a time to mess with me, or argue. The kids sisters were out of school yesterday, and he was tired because he didn’t get to sleep on time. He argued that it wasn’t fair that he had to go to school and asked his mom (who woke up because he was arguing with me, but didn’t stop him from arguing with me) if he could stay home from school, the mom was legitimately going to let this freaking punk stay home (while she went to work and left me with two extra kids), but I refused and said he was going and to get dressed for the day and downstairs for breakfast. He looked at her and asked her again and I stared her down basically daring her to undermine me. She told him to do as I said and that she would walk him to the bus stop. I went downstairs and got his breakfast ready and he was out the door (without a thank you… there’s never actually been a thank you, now that I think about it). I went to get a shower and when I came downstairs the two girls were there and the mother was gone. My job is not to watch these children. So, I left. No one has said anything about it.

Anyway, I hung out with the neighbor all day and went through the typical symptoms of exhaustion. It was great. Then the kid was gonna get home and neither of the parents were back yet. So, I went to get him, then he had a snack and started the arguing. I decided to record what he was saying in the event that the dad wasn’t understanding that this kid is rude as heck to me. He argued that he didn’t have school on Friday so he shouldn’t have to do his homework. I told him he was still doing it. He said I was mean. I told him he was still doing his homework. He said he was only doing half of the page, I said he was doing it all. He argued that for ten minutes and said his parents were gonna let him only do half of it. I informed him that was great, but I’m not his parent and he was doing it all. He glared at me and argued the entire time. I said he was getting less free time for all the arguing and delaying he was doing and he said that wouldn’t happen. Finally he finished and he only had 20 minutes of free time. But his dad got home and said it was fine if he was done… freaking seriously?! This is why the kid doesn’t do anything I say! Because he is allowed to walk all over his parents and they LET him!! I asked the dad if he had my money and he said he would go get it early in the morning and leave it for me. Then I said I wanted to talk about everything that happened the day before and I mentioned about my bed and he said it wasn’t the kids cause he was with them all night which is complete BS, because that little tidbit that I said earlier about him being asleep when I got home!! There was plenty of time for the little axe murderer in training (my mothers nickname for him) to damage my property! But when I mentioned that the kid was still slamming doors after he spoke with his dad, the dad told him he was grounded from video games for two weeks. So, whatever. I decided I was going to power through because, for all I know, the job interview on Sunday could be perfect and I will be moving soon anyway.

But then, when I woke up today (I slept in because the kid was off of school and the sisters were too, so everyone was home, and the mother was off work so she could be an actual parent and I could have Friday off as was originally agreed upon before I took the job) I walked out to go brush my teeth and get ready for my day. And I find the kid and his sisters all playing video games and eating my freaking cereal!!!! And where is the mother? Heck if I know!!! But she for sure wasn’t there watching her children!! And how about that money of mine that I was supposed to get last freaking week?!?! Yeah, that’s not anywhere to be found!! So, I call the dad and he says that the older sister is watching the kids and I don’t have to stay if I have plans, and that he woke up late so he would get me my money by tonight. UGHHHHHHHH!!!!! So, I decided to go hang with the neighbor and go to youth group. Anything to stay out of the house that smells disgusting because I refuse to wash their dishes that they have left scattered throughout the house from last weekend when I wasn’t even present, nor did I eat any food. And since they moved in on Wednesday, I have not been in the kitchen or had anything to eat from them and the dishes have continued to pile up. When I was hired, I was told that I didn’t have to clean. I did the dishes whenever I would use them, or when the Kid would use some. But I made the mistake one Monday of washing all the dishes in the kitchen cause it was gross, when I hadn’t even been there that weekend!!! So, I guess they just expect me to do them now. But I refuse to. I don’t care if that seems petty. I don’t get paid to be a housekeeper…I’m technically not even being PAID! So, back to me getting ready to leave. I decided to get a shower before I left. The girls have been using my bathroom every weekend, which means they use my shampoo, conditioner, and soap. And I have colored hair so I have special shampoo and conditioner which is a little more expensive than the Suave! Plus, the teenager used my towels to get dry and my loofah (which is super disgusting and should not freaking be done!!). So I have to take my stuff out of the bathroom every time they’re over. Anyway, I’m getting ready to hop in the shower, I have put my towels and makeup bag in the bathroom, but I remembered I had to grab my other toiletries. As I went to grab my stuff, I come back to the bathroom and the teenager is standing in there, she looks at me, says she needs a shower, and shuts the door in my face!! I was shocked and mad, but I decided I would not fight that particular battle. However, seconds later she knocks on my door asking for MY toiletries!! I told her they were gone and she said that there was a lot left earlier in the week. I told her, “yeah, you’re not understanding. They’re gone for you. Those are my products. Not yours.” So she walked away looking mad. But that isn’t my issue. About two hours later she exits the bathroom… she’s kind of a jerk. And I finally get my shower. But the bathroom is now trashed with towels on the floor, and hair and makeup everywhere. Whatever. Not caring. I got a shower, got dressed, and came to the awesome safety of the neighbors house.

I haven’t been at home today. I’m avoiding it as long as I possibly can. I was really blessed to have my awesome neighbor friend be there for me this week with words of comfort, and coffee!! Plus, tonight after youth group I was blessed to hang out with my awesome new friend Nika (the youth pastors wife). This weekend I’m going to a pumpkin festival, and then Seattle for the interview!! Things are looking up. I’m keeping my heart focused on Christ. I know everything will work out. I’m not going to be doing a Q&A on this post cause it was basically me venting. I’m sorry for all the negativity. I am really working on getting through all this drama. Right now the prayer is that I would know what to do if I don’t get the other job. The neighbor has been amazing and said I will always have a place to stay with her. But she lives across the street from the crazy family that I would be running away from. So I need to consider what I will do if that occurs. 

As always, keep your emails and messages coming! I love the testimonies and questions. Especially the testimonies! I love seeing the awesome works that Christ is doing in your lives! God is so good!!! Love y’all, and miss y’all.

-Kelsey H.💕💕
Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com

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That’s my cousin in the pic. I miss her a lot:'(:'(💕💕

 

Adventures of a camp counselor…

So, two weeks ago, I was at camp…

It was my fourth(and most likely final) year as a camp counselor. And that week was amazing. I was truly in awe of the work that the Lord is doing in the lives of these young men and women! The fact that I was able to assist in them pushing forward in their relationships with Christ? There are no words to describe how I feel.

If you’ve never been a camp counselor, or a youth leader, I highly recommend it. Every year, without fail, the enemy tries to prohibit me from going. This past year, I was dealing with a situation with another person in the church, and was not wanting to go. I actually prayed that I’d start a job in Washington before camp, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with this person. But the Lord has His own plans, despite my objections, and I had to lean on Him for understanding…and oh my word, do I understand now!!!

We say camp is a week, in reality, it’s three days. We leave Monday, return home Friday. On Monday we arrived, and right away I could feel the tension with this other person. But I decided that since it’s probably my last year, I’m going to make it the best year!! We weren’t able to get into our cabin right away, so some of my girls went to practice worship, while others went to hang with their friends. I finally got into the cabin and began writing my goodbye letters to my girls…it was a lot harder than I had anticipated, because even writing to the girls that I didn’t know as well was breaking me down!!! Monday night, I pulled all the girls aside separately and said my simple goodbye. I figured I’d get it out of the way and we’d make the week awesome!

The theme for the week was crossroads, and it was wonderful to hear the various speakers tell us about the crossroad that took them to where they’re at now. But it got me thinking, don’t we all have more than one crossroad in our lives? Don’t we continually come across a moment when we need to come up with a decision that will either make or break us?

That’s a topic for another day though. I still want to tell you about camp. There was the usual drama that always happens. But I can honestly say that the presence of the Lord was felt throughout that camp. The friendships that were rocky or barely in existence were bonded, the sibling rivalries were squashed, the old heartache…that’s still a work in progress. But God is so good.

On Wednesday night, it was unbelievable. So many young people felt the call on their hearts to surrender everything to Christ. They made choices to die to their old lives, to give up the ways of the world in a commitment to the one true King. To even have played a small role in those kids lives was something that I will truly never forget.

But then the enemy realized what was happening. The enemy realized that he was losing all these kids to the power of Christ. And he came in full force. Anything and everything that could go wrong for these kids, went wrong. My heart hurt with seeing some of the struggles they went through, some of the hurt, anger, jealousy, and heartbreak from the past. Any of the insecurities that the enemy wanted them to feel came through as well. It was freaking ridiculous. Honestly, so much good happening and the stupid devil had to try and pull everyone down?!?! Heck no!! I made sure to speak with my girls and encourage them to focus on the good things that the Lord was doing in their lives, to fight against the drama the enemy was going to attack them with. Praise goes to God for giving the girls the strength to power through!!
 
   The rest of the week was great, It still had moments of drama. I still had to deal with this person harassing me about everything under the sun. It was tough, but I made sure that my kids saw that I was dealing with it in a graceful, and God honoring manner, despite how I actually felt haha.
 
The Sunday after camp (last Sunday), a handful of my kids (after prayer, and consideration) were baptized!!!!!! I was so freaking proud! These kids not only gave their lives to Christ, but they wanted to publicly declare that they were dying to their old lives, giving up the junk that the enemy was holding over them, and moving forward with Christ as their number 1!!!! Ahhhh!!!! It was incredible!

This year, despite the drama, despite the anger, despite the enemy trying to bring us down, we conquered!  I know I’m going to miss these kids like crazy! And it’s going to be hard becoming a youth leader at a new church. But I know the Lord is not only leading me, but these young adults to a bright and amazing future that’s filled with unimaginable blessings! I’m praying that these kids won’t just let this camp experience have just been a mountain top/one week thing. I’m praying that they live this life to the fullest!!!

You guys are all the best!!!
Love y’all,
Kelsey H. 💕💕
Hisfavoritestory@gmail.com